You suck. You and all those like you. Now devoid of the soul you so eagerly sold to Satan, you are like a demonic succubus rife with black blood brewed only in the fiery depths of hell. Was it worth it? I thought not. Like a slimy tapeworm, your only pleasure is to (figuratively) burrow into my digestive tract and filch away my precious nutrients. Luckily, you are barred by your sheer enormity. As a parasite, you prey on those stronger than you; that is, those of a more elite and pristine class than yourself. And as a member of that class (AP students, NHS members and the like), I am personally offended that you think you can just ride on the coattails of those who, lets face it, are genetically superior to you. We are intelligent; therefore we cannot busy ourselves interacting with an ingrate like you. You are an anchor, only hindering the immaculate yacht that symbolizes none other than I, the Sūd'n-ĭm'. I only want to sail under azure skies, through unmuddied waters, the salty wind in my hair, with a beautiful woman by my side. Why do you insist on stopping me?
But that aside, my point is I am smart, and therefore better than you. For example, I got a 35 on my ACT. Yeah, that’s right. And because I got a good score, I can only assume that I am good. Despite my cockiness, I wasn’t entirely confident in my qualities as a human being until the College Board conveniently assigned them a comprehensive numerical value. You on the other hand are nothing. You serve only one function, and that is increasing my class rank. The entire college world is my oyster, and I prefer oysters with cocktail sauce (i.e. a prestigious pre-med program).
I will leave you with the most important axiom of the National Honor Society, "Exclude all those whom you find meek, inferior, or in some other way objectionable." Words to live by.
1 comment:
I know who you are.
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