A gangrenous wound has spread over the masses; from the cultured nobles to the simple yeomen. A black and detestable cancer threatens the very existence of society as we know it. Solitude, and its heinous agents of tranquillity are always lurking the streets, seeking to promote their quiet, reflective agenda. I’ve seen it with mine own eyes. I do not mean to fear-monger, but the fact is you should be afraid. They take a man and suck out his soul, and what is left can hardly be called human. He becomes an anti-social parasite; an egregious thing that can only quote Thoreau, sit quietly, and listen to Kenny G. Hark! Do not fall prey to this vile and odious temptress.
But fear not world! Do not give up on the talkative, prefrontal cortex-less life we have made for ourselves. I have recently been made aware of a means to combat this Axis-of-Silence that threatens us: texting. Not since the days of Sammy Morse or John C. Telephone have we been graced with such an effective mechanism to avoid near-tranquil experiences. If you feel the sudden urge to take stock of your life, or contemplate the existence of God, stop! Let the soothing powers of mindless drawl with casual acquaintances release you from your taciturn trance.
So I say to you, world, unsheathe your cell phones. Ask countless friends and acquaintances what is "sup". Let your ringtone be a melodic symbol of brotherhood. Do whatever you must do to counter this dangerous beast that seeks to silence you. With this resource at our disposal, I believe we can make serenity a thing of the past. Do not think, Text!
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